Archive for the ‘Articles’ Category

Newer Entries »

Top 10 Tips for Self Harm Help For Parents

Friday, April 13th, 2012

Part of self harm help is knowing that being close to individuals who self harm like cutting or burning themselves makes coping really tough and sometimes hard to comprehend. Take note that the reasons why people cut themselves vary from person to person and come in several forms. It is really good to know that included also in self harm awareness is the objective of informing people that self injury or self harm is not suicidal or attention seeking. Normally, self harming pupils do this because they have an immense amount of pain and suffering within them that they find difficult to express. And if your child is one of the many out there who deliberately injure himself or herself, self harm training is available for you as well as resource materials for teachers.

 

How Do I Deal With My Son/Daughter’s Self Harming Behaviour?

It is frustrating for parents to find out that their child is self harming. It is really hard to understand

Parents Understanding Self Harm

Image Crd:caringforourchildrenfoundation

why people cut themselves, especially if they are very dear to us.

 

 

Here are 10 Top Tips for Self Harm Help to guide parents

 

 

  1. Avoid taking things personally. Even if their actions  appear to be manipulative, it generally is not a case of manipulation
  2.  Educate yourself. Backing yourself with the proper self harm awareness knowledge will help you learn how to support your child in the right way.
  3. Take care of yourself. While it is really distressing to realize that your child is self harming, find time to recognize that you also need to adjust. Find time and make sure you also take care of your needs as well as your child’s. You are the important person in this equation, because you need to ensure that you are there tomorrow for both of you.
  4. Be supportive without being imposing. Negative emotions can be triggered sometimes when parents impose what they want on their children, intentionally or otherwise. A better alternative is to let them know that you care for them and you will always be around when they need someone to talk to. Be the first to open up but not be tooParents Understanding Self Harm demanding of them to disclose anything to you. And if your child finds it comfortable to be more open with others, that is ok. Sometimes we need go into protective mode from our loved ones because we don’t want to hurt them. Your child is the same with you. The main thing is that they are talking to SOMEONE.
  5. Be there. Although it is heartbreaking, you have to let your son/daughter know that you are willing to help and will always love him or her no matter what. Reassurance is the key here, and then some.
  6. Encourage them in positive ways. Assurance is something that any child yearns. Express to them that you care even if you don’t always understand where they are coming from, but you will be empathetic and sympathetic to their needs. It is also to acknowledge to yourself that it is difficult for you and you also need someone to talk to about your concerns and feelings. This is am important factor in being able to support your son/daughter.
  7. Observe. Notice the times that your child is upset or moody. Self harm is sometimes hidden because self harming pupils and youngsters shy away from people due to their self harm and or low self esteem.
  8. Avoid impulsive overdoses. You can keep medicines locked up and other sharp edged tools hidden in discrete places to prevent your child from overdoing the damage. That said, do take care to ensure that you help your child to put in place other helpful and alternative strategies and coping methods, otherwise they are likely to find other ‘tools’ to use, which may create far more damage that those they had previously used.
  9. Seek professional help. If you realize that things are already getting out of hand, seek out self harm help to assist your son/daughter in managing their situation.
  10. Analysis of the situation. Sometimes it can be easier for you than others to identify what sparked off your son/daughter’s self harming behaviour. Is there something obvious that happened today, last night or recently that you can think of that may have caused him or her to engage in this current self harming incident? A compromise on both sides may be an option and a way forward if it will ease the situation.

 

We know it is not easy, however, even if you make a start on just one of the above pointers that will help you in moving in the right direction.

 

Tags: , , , ,
Posted in Articles, Self Harm Help | Comments Off on Top 10 Tips for Self Harm Help For Parents

Domestic Violence and Abuse Go Orders

Monday, January 31st, 2011
Jennifer McLeod

Domestic Violence and Abuse Go Orders

You may have heard in the media recently that people who are suspected of abusing their partner could be removed from there homes by the police. This is part of the government’s proposals to manage the rising domestic violence situation in the UK. The government will be implementing its Domestic Violence and Abuse Go Orders proposals as a year-long pilot scheme in Greater Manchester, Wiltshire and West Mercia commencing summer 2011.

The Go Orders would enable the police to remove the perpetrator from their home for up to four weeks, irrespective of whether it is the victim or a third party that reported the suspected abuse.

This scheme would go a long way in assisting victims of abuse who may feel too vulnerable, frightened, insecure, susceptible to self harm, guilty and lack confidence in contacting the police themselves. Or indeed, if they had previously contacted the police in the past but the abuse and violence is still on-going. It may also ease the police’s frustration in being able to take action in such matters.

Cracking Down on Homicide:

I personally welcome the new stance that the government proposes in cracking down on domestic violence in the home, not least because two women per week are killed as a result of domestic violence and abuse. I also like the fact that women and children are not the ones that have to flee the home for a change, and we all know that there are insufficient support, refuges and accommodation available to meet their needs, don’t we? So it is refreshing that the government is taking domestic violence and abuse as something far more serious than just a couple having an argument in their own home.

The proposals include victims being offered support and advice by case workers on the  options open to them should they leave the relationship.

Help:

No one should have to endure the torture of emotional, psychological, physical or financial abuse because the perpetrator is feeling insecure in themselves. As discussed in my BBC 3 Counties Radio interview on the Jonathan Vernon-Smith show, whilst I agree that these Go Order proposals are heading in the right direction in assisting the prevention or reduction of homicide and domestic abuse in the home, certain issues still need to be addressed, thus:

  • If the perpetrator (usually men) is allowed back in to the home, or not as the case may be, what real and additional support will be available for the family as a whole, the couple and the children to deal with the underlying issues that are triggering the abuse?
  • Removal of the perpetrator from the home can have its own emotional and psychological damage on the children. How will this be tackled by the government?
  • If the perpetrator’s  self esteem, confidence and self worth had hit rock bottom as a result of losing their job, for instance, which potentially became the trigger for abusing their partner (and which by no means  is an excuse for inflicting any sort of abuse on anyone!), will s/he be supported in becoming a meaningful member of society again?
  • What additional assistance does the government proposes for agencies such as counselling services, children’s centres, schools and others in being able to manage the extra needs of those families affected by the Go Order?
  • What proposals are in place to support women’s financial situations once the perpetrator is removed from the home? One of the fears of women escaping an abusive situation is how they will cope financially by themselves with the children.
  • How will the police and government manage cases of people being falsely accused of committing such crimes? And the resulting impact on the family and the couple’s relationship?

The Impact:

In essence, I applaud the government’s decision to move forward with their proposals for domestic violence Go Orders as a measure to reduce homicide and domestic violence and abuse in the home. My reservations are, however, about the overall impact the actions will have on the family’s lives and the real support that the whole family will receive, including the perpetrator, in moving on with their lives. Could this situation also trigger manipulative parenting where either of the parents become manipulative parents? Removal of the perpetrator from one home, does not stop them committing similar offences in their subsequent homes. And similarly, what support will the women get to move on with their lives and not allow themselves to get caught up in similar circumstances? we also need to be mindful that the children are not thrown into situations of binge drinking like the recently highlighted case of Laura Hall.

Many government assisted interventions tend to be of a practical nature. We must not overlook the seriousness and importance of dealing with the underlying emotional and psychological issues that have resulted in people being in these and other situations. Until these underlying issues are addressed, tax payers will forever be forking out millions of pounds on quick fix practical solutions.

If the pilot is successful, the government proposes to roll the Go Order out across England and Wales.

What are your thoughts about these Go Orders?

How does it affect you in your role personally and professionally?

Do you welcome these Go Orders, or will they be a hindrance or headache within your profession?

Let me know what you think.

Until next time!

With Inspirational Blessings

Jennifer McLeod

This article © Jennifer McLeod 2011. All rights reserved

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , ,
Posted in Articles, Uncategorized | 10 Comments »

The Effects of Bullying on Self Harm

Friday, August 20th, 2010

It is a general perception that people who have been bullied at some point in their lives, often go on to bully others.  This is a perception often reinforced by Hollywood and the media, however as is often the case with Hollywood representations, this is not always a realistic portrayal.

People make unconscious decisions to either externalise or internalise their emotions.  In many situations, the emotions that result from being bullied are internalised, however, as pressure builds people need to find a way of releasing this pressure. In so doing, one of the options may be to externalize this need. One effect of such externalization may well be to project negative emotions on other people and to follow through perhaps with the physical act of bullying.

The use of self harm as an externalisation of negative emotions however, is generally less understood, and carries with it a high level of stigma and many more negative implications.  In this case, the harm is inflicted on the self rather than on other people.

Self harm as a result of bullying is an issue that needs to be addressed, especially in the case of adolescents who are already at an emotionally and physically challenging stage in their lives. The self harm therefore only serves to mask and compound the complications of these emotions, possibly triggering a downward spiraling effect.

Tags: , , , , ,
Posted in Articles | 2 Comments »

Newer Entries »